Welcome Home

Neighbour 1: “Really nice to meet you.”

Neighbour 2″ “Yeah, good to meet you, too.”

N1: “This a pretty quiet neighbourhood, or..?”

N2: “You know, mostly.”

N1: “Cool.”

N2: “Liking your new house? The last guy really let it go.”

N1: “Lot of work, but I am up for it.”

N2: “Good, good. Can’t wait to see what you do with the place.”

N1: “Totally. We will have a little party when things start coming together.

N2: “Great.”

N1: “Okay, well…nice meeting you.  I am sure we will be seeing a lot of each other.”

N2: “Yeah.”

Weekend Warrior

I went to my mother’s house to help her paint the living room. When I arrived, she wasn’t home.  I waited thirty minutes and began to paint without her.

About an hour into the job, my mother returned home with a scowl on her face and a cold cup of coffee in her hand.  I asked her what happened.

She told me I was her least favourite kid.

Stunned I asked her what the Hell she could mean by that.  Here I was, on my weekend off, helping her paint her damn house.

She told me, she hated me ’cause I try too hard.

Real World: USA

Host: “Name five people who you would trust with your life.”

Contestant: “My…boyfriend, my mom…my dad, my cousin Annabelle, …um…”